|"BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD DO AMERICA"
Mike Judge and Joe Stillman
The movie begins with scenes of people screaming in horror and running down the streets of a big city. The ground shakes from what seems like giant footsteps. There are pieces of building debris falling everywhere, people getting crushed, power lines coming down, etc. - complete pandemonium. It all looks very much like a Japanese animated King-Kong or Godzilla movie. We hear the footsteps getting closer and the ground shaking becomes more intense - more debris falling. Then we see a HUGE BLACK TENNIS SHOE come into frame and smash a National Guard truck. As we pan up, we see the white socks, then the red shorts, the AC/DC T-shirt, then we hear the familiar, "Huh huh huh." - only it's a huge sound...this is a THREE-HUNDRED FOOT TALL BUTT-HEAD. "Butt-Kong" continues his path of destruction - stomping on cars and buildings and saying, "This is cool. Huh huh huh."
Airplanes and tanks start firing at Butt-Head (Butt-Kong). He looks irritated and says, "Cut it out butt-munch!" Butt-Head swats at the planes, sending them crashing to the ground and stomps on the tanks. Then, something catches his eye. Butt-Head reaches into a skyscraper and picks up a nice looking woman - a lot like the one from the King Kong movie. He looks down at her in his hand and goes wide-eyed, "Whoa! Huh huh huh." The woman screams in terror as Butt-Head looks down at her and tries a few lame pick up lines. "Uuuuh...Hey baby. I'm like, pretty tall. Huh huh huh." He swats down a helicopter that is circling his head, "Dammit, I'm trying to score!" The helicopter goes down in flames. We CUT TO some guys sitting on a tank firing at him. They notice giant footsteps coming from the other direction and turn the tank around. Through their binoculars we see a THREE-HUNDRED FOOT BEAVIS coming from the horizon. The giant Beavis is even more destructive than Butt-Kong (maybe he could be breathing fire). Beavis starts trying to pick up on Butt-Head's woman. Butt-Head puts the woman down and he and Beavis begin to go at it, leveling the city with one of their stupid juvenile smack-fights.
We CROSS-DISSOLVE from three-hundred foot Beavis shaking Butt-Kong to Butt-Head asleep on the couch with Beavis shaking him.
INT. B&B'S HOME - DAY
Butt-Head! Butt-Head! Hey, Butt-Head!
Butt-Head is dead asleep on the couch. Beavis shakes him.
Butt-Head, wake up, wake up!
Butt-Head comes around.
Dammit, Beavis, I was about to score.
Yeah, but check it out. It's gone!
Beavis is making STRANGE NOISES, in a state of shock.
Butt-Head rubs his eyes and looks at the empty space where the TV was.
Uuuuuuh, huh huh. Uuh,...
Out the window, we see two YOUNG MEN carrying B&B's TV into their van.
Still on the couch, Butt-Head looks over at the broken window. We see a CROWBAR lying on the floor, and the front door left open.
Butt-Head looks at the BROKEN WINDOW, at the CROWBAR, the OPEN DOOR, then back at the EMPTY SPACE where the TV was. He does this a couple of times - piecing it all together.
Whoa! I think I just figured something
Yeah, heh heh.
Beavis is still in shock. They both stare at the empty space where the TV was for a beat, not quite sure what to do.
Beavis is SHAKING AND MAKING WEIRD NOISES. He presses buttons on the remote a few times, as if it might help somehow.
This sucks more than anything that
has ever sucked before. We must find
this butt-hole that took the TV.
EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
Bad neighborhood. 70's music blares.
A fast driving car drives right at us and stops. Punks run in fear. Beavis hops out of the driver's seat, wearing bell-bottoms, chain jewelry and a 70's afro. Into a dramatic CLOSE-UP, he takes off his glasses.
FREEZE ON BEAVIS
FRAME UNFREEZES. Beavis whips out a huge gun.
An attacker comes from one side. Beavis uses Judo. Another tosses a knife. Beavis ducks, then shoots with two hands, police style.
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Swinger's pad. Totally 70's. A group of bikini'd girls on a waterbed. Butt-Head approaches them. He wears a leisure suit, collar way open. He plops down in the bed.
FREEZE ON BUTT-HEAD
FRAME UNFREEZES. The girls wrap their arms around him.
Huh huh huh. Come to Butt-Head, baby.
MAIN TITLE - FULL FRAME
EXT. CITY STREETS - DAY/NIGHT
ACTION MONTAGE BEGINS. Styled like a 70's cop show opening.
OPENING CREDITS to the movie appear just as cop show credits would.
Beavis does a Starsky and Hutch-style roll with a gun.
Butt-Head slaps a pimp.
Beavis drives, chasing a car.
Butt-Head is slapped by a girl.
Huh huh huh. That was cool.
Beavis and Butt-Head are in a warehouse shoot-out.
A black police chief rises from a desk to yell at B&B.
B&B dive for cover just before a building explodes.
In CLOSE-UP, Beavis smiles for an ID shot.
Butt-Head does the same.
Beavis, in a rooftop fight, kicks his opponent over the edge.
A beautiful woman, back to us, takes off her dress for Butt-Head. FINAL OPENING CREDIT APPEARS. Butt-Head and the woman fall into bed. Suddenly...
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY/DOOR TO A.V. ROOM - DAY
From inside, SOUND of equipment crashing.
B&B come out wheeling a TV on one of those carts. There are cables attached to it still leading back into the A.V. room. As they push the cart we hear more equipment falling.
Dammit, it's stuck.
They give it one big push and it finally breaks free. We see that the cables are tangled with cables from other TVs and VCRs, which all come crashing to the ground.
Huh huh huh. That was cool.
Yeah, heh heh. Let's just wheel this
thing back to the house.