And another thing is…..no I don’t want the name of your homeopath, reiki therapist, or the guy in Mexico who prescribes caffeine enemas for everything from mastitis to malignant melanoma. I’ve tried them all… well ok, maybe not the latter but you get my drift…
Colonic irrigation? Er no...it wouldn’t help.
But it helps to rebalance the gut microflora.
No... I try again... it wouldn’t help ME, I don’t have a colon anymore, remember?!
And another thing is… no I don’t want to try a macrobiotic diet... it would not be good for me - on the contrary it would cause a traffic jam in the little remaining segment of my gut that even the Mad Cow roundabout at 5pm on a Fri evening would find difficult to match. Will you please just listen to me? It. Wouldn’t. Help. Me.
And another thing is… nettle soup is not an effective analgesic…maybe if you’re a sheep it might help the pain but when you have become tolerant to a dosage of morphine which, if it got into the water system, would send the population of Naas into a soporific slumber, nettle soup is NOT a viable solution for intractable spinal pain.
And another thing is... no, I’m not better… actually, I’m not going to get better and the sooner you can accept that then the sooner I can make the most of what time I have left without having to waste it making things better for you.
And another thing is… please just listen - that’s all I want or need you to do…… and all you can do…other people’s expectations are harder to deal with than my own.