And another thing is…

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And another thing is….

And another thing is… I don’t want the name of your homeopath, reiki therapist, or the guy in Mexico who prescribes caffeine enemas for everything from mastitis to malignant melanoma. I’ve tried them all… well ok, maybe not the latter but you get my drift…

Colonic irrigation? Er wouldn’t help.

But it helps to rebalance the gut microflora.

No... I try again... it wouldn’t help ME, I don’t have a colon anymore, remember?!

And another thing is… no I don’t want to try a macrobiotic diet... it would not be good for me - on the contrary it would cause a traffic jam in the little remaining segment of my gut that even the Mad Cow roundabout at 5pm on a Fri evening would find difficult to match. Will you please just listen to me? It. Wouldn’t. Help. Me.

And another thing is… nettle soup is not an effective analgesic…maybe if you’re a sheep it might help the pain but when you have become tolerant to a dosage of morphine which, if it got into the water system, would send the population of Naas into a soporific slumber, nettle soup is NOT a viable solution for intractable spinal pain.

And another thing is... no, I’m not better… actually, I’m not going to get better and the sooner you can accept that then the sooner I can make the most of what time I have left without having to waste it making things better for you.

And another thing is… please just listen - that’s all I want or need you to do…… and all you can do…other people’s expectations are harder to deal with than my own.

And another thing is…

By Barbara Casey

We can still be friends

I may not fit into your lifestyle anymore but that doesn’t mean I cannot fit into your life.

I can’t do all of the things we used to do together, although I treasure the memories we made.

I often have to break arrangements or cancel plans at the last minute but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to spend time with you.

Laughter doesn’t come as easily to me anymore but I can still laugh.

And I can still be your friend.

I may not be the same person that I was but I am still me.

I have had to change my attitude, my activities and my lifestyle.

I have had to learn how to survive, to try to live rather than merely exist.

I have had to learn a new way of managing, of coping with the monster that has possessed my body.

But I can still be your friend.

I know it’s been hard for you too, trying to make sense of this new me but please don’t presume that I don’t want to hear about your life,

That you will upset me by telling me about ‘the great night out’ or ‘the amazing holiday’ you had.

Don’t think that I can’t listen to your problems anymore because you deem them to be less than mine.

Try me; I may have learnt a thing or two about coping with problems.

And I can still be your friend.

I am not defined by my pain alone my personality still lurks inside me somewhere; it’s waiting for those precious moments when it can surpass the monster.

But I need your help. I need you to need me again. I want our friendship to be real again.

Let’s create new memories to look back on and treasure.

And on the days when the monster rears its ugly head,

You can still be my friend.

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