First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting (Cartoon by Khalil Bendib)
The Execution Of A Mentally Disabled 9 Year Old Girl By Israeli Troops Found To Be “According To Open Fire Regulations” [Thanks to J, who sent this in.]
08 Feb 2006 Human Rights Watch
On January 23, Israeli soldiers shot a 13-year-old Palestinian boy in the back as he walked along a West Bank road reserved for Jewish settlers. The boy, Munadel Abu Aalia, from the nearby village of El-Mughayer (near Ramallah), died the same day. After first telling the press that the boy and his friends were planning to throw stones at settler cars, Israeli military officials then told journalists that the boys were planting an explosive device. [The normal lies. J.] The Israel Defense Forces' allegation that the boy posed a threat should not preempt a criminal investigation since media accounts suggest that the incident occurred outside the context of any exchange of fire, he was shot in the back, he reportedly was far from any conceivable target when he was shot, and the incident occurred in broad daylight. The soldiers did not fire warning shots or attempt to question or arrest the boys first.
In a second incident, soldiers patrolling Israel's border with the Gaza Strip on January 26 shot dead a 9-year-old Palestinian girl on the other side, not far from her home in Khan Younis. Gaza-based human rights organizations investigating the case found that Israeli forces had opened indiscriminate fire on Aya al-Astal without warning when they saw something moving near the border. Afterwards, the Israeli military contacted Palestinian security officials in Gaza to announce that their "soldiers shot and hit a terrorist." The girl's mother told the press, however, that her daughter was small, unveiled and should have been easily identifiable as a child. Her father said that she was mentally disabled and had become lost after wandering from the house. According to the girl's family and paramedics, the girl was shot multiple times in the neck, leg, arm and stomach. The Israel Defense Forces have not accounted for the mistaken identity or their rules of engagement at the border, warranting an immediate criminal investigation. As noted above, both of these shooting deaths occurred outside the context of any armed conflict or exchange of fire. While the Israel Defense Forces immediately announced their intention to open a probe into the death of the boy, the military's spokesperson was unable to tell Human Rights Watch whether they had opened a similar probe in the case of the girl.
However, the media reported that an internal probe was launched in the girl's case, and that the judge advocate general's office had already found no fault in the judgment used by the unit commander and found that the shooting was carried out according to open fire regulations. [To check out what life is like under a murderous military occupation by a foreign power, go to: www.rafahtoday.org The foreign army is Israeli; the occupied nation is Palestine.]
DANGER: POLITICIANS AT WORK
[Thanks to David Honish, Veterans For Peace, who sent this in.]
CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE
Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says February 12, 2006 The Borowitz Report
Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow hunter while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he believed the man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri.
Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on Saturday was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on "faulty intelligence."
"I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had infiltrated my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying me with pellets," Mr. Cheney told reporters. "Only after I shot Harry in the face and he shouted 'Cheney, you bastard' did I realize that this intelligence was faulty."
Moments after Mr. Cheney's assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr. al-Zawahiri appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to announce that he was uninjured in the vice president's attack because, in his words, "I was in Pakistan."
An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American people would believe Mr. Cheney's version of events, but added, "If he was going to shoot any of his cronies right now it's a shame it wasn't Jack Abramoff."
At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice president's shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent "a strong message to terrorists everywhere." "The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he'll do to you," Mr. Bush said.
“Ladies And Gentlemen, The President Of The United States”
[Thanks to M, who sent this in.]
A lady bought a new Lexus. It cost a bundle.
Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.
"Madam", said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!" She drives out, somewhat amazed and a little confused.
She looked at the radio and said "Nelson." The radio responded, “Ricky or Willie?" Soon, she was speeding down the highway to the sounds of "On the road again." The lady was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.
Suddenly, at a traffic light, her light turned green and she pulled out. Off to her right, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small sports utility vehicle speeding toward her. She swerved and narrowly missed a terrible collision. "Asshole", she muttered. And, from the radio............
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States"
Received: A Modest Proposal From: Mark S
To: GI Special
Sent: February 12, 2006
Subject: us army deserter 'hot-line'
Some good news: The number of Deserters must be going way up; the Army now even has it's own 'Deserter hot-line.' Readers of 'GI Special' might want to call this number collect and tell them to go fuck themselves? “Q. Does CID investigate deserters? “A. Under most circumstances, no. However, if the individual deserts because of a criminal act, CID will work with local law enforcement authorities to apprehend the suspect for investigation. “For general information on deserters or to report a deserter, contact the Chief, U.S. Army Deserter Information Point at 502-626-3717.” [From: http://www.cid.army.mil/faqs.htm]
What do you think? Comments from service men and women, and veterans, are especially welcome. Send to email@example.com. Name, I.D., withheld on request. Replies confidential.
GI Special Looks Even Better Printed Out
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