I woke up this morning at 3 :17 a.m. and spent over an hour lying awake in bed, studying the nature of breathing and its living connection to the root of the spine and the abdomen.
Moments of stillness and darkness in the very early morning are good times for the examination of such questions. In such moments, I find, the distracting, associative part is quiescent and it becomes possible to observe parts that are ordinary far more obscured.
This is not to say no reasoning intelligence can manifest itself. While I was invested in this objectively fortuitous set of circumstances, I recalled a few things from my trip which I have not had a chance to jot down yet.
The other day, while I was sitting, I realized that part of our difficult with inner resistance is that we view it much too theoretically.
It is very important to go right up against this question from a direct and practical angle; I need to see that the resistance is in me. Sittings are a good place to do this.
It may sounds obvious to say that but if we investigate our inner state carefully I believe we see that we don't think we "are the resistance." Or we think that the resistance is located somewhere within the psychology of our state, rather than the whole state itself, which includes everything, not just the psychology.
Resistance springs from this thing called "I" through which my experience is filtered. So as "I" experience resistance I am the resistance. Perhaps there is a whole understanding within this concept about what "self-observation" is for.
Take a look at this for a while and get back to me on what you think, if you like.
All of our thoughts are a set of corrective lenses. It is as if reality as it is isn't good enough for us; it needs adjustment. So instead of inhabiting the actual conditionsthat we encounter, we inhabit the view of them we create by wearing corrective lenses. The interpretation.
These lenses are not like eyeglasses, which we are conscious of wearing. They are like contacts- intimate, and so transparent that after we adopt to them we have absolutely no idea whatsoever that we are wearing them.
Except, of course, that once in a while they make our eyes water...
The question becomes one of how to inhabit much more directly the conditions we find ourselves in. Understanding that our interpretation of events is always distorted by our corrective lenses.
That requires an immediate, organic presence.
May your trees bear fruit, and your wells yield water.